Lately I’ve been talking to mom about love, quite a lot. By love, we mean several things; guys, marriage, husband critera, household roles, commitment, etc.
It’s a rare topic in our crib. This was actually an untouched door that we both stayed away from for quite a long time. An awkward issue to discuss. We were always in an uncomfortable situation each time my mom started this topic. And she, she never dug deeper anyway. But since 2015 when we were 11,757 km apart (Jakarta – Leeds), it became less awkward because we discussed this through text. Thank God it continues.
She asked me to tell her about guys around me, about my timeline, about current situation. Then, when it came to her turn to talk, she shared her point of view. Here, I realized that my mom is quite an observer. She knows the details even though I have not tell her yet and most of the time she sees what I did not see. She also shared her experiences dealing with men, lectured about type of men, what to look for in them, and how important it is to guard our own honor. I particularly enjoy when she tells me about how my dad put efforts towards mom back then. Amidst laughter of listening about my dad’s craziness, I notice that those kind of efforts are the ones that I’d love to see in some guys nowadays. It’s just funny and comforting at the same time to know what was my dad like before he’s him now. The man I adore, the man I can rely on, the man I trust.
Mom told me, “Always choose a guy who madly deeply in love with you. Like he would chase you wherever you are heading to. Because us, women, we are easy to fall in love. But men, it just takes a little thing to distract them. So if you start with a guy who is not fully into you, then be prepared for the worst twist.”
She repeated several times that she and Dad do not fancy the complicated pre requirements like other parents might do. What important are; make sure he’s a good moslem by daily practice, responsible towards me in term of moral and material, and he loves me sincerely (vice versa of course).
Now I know and realize that there is no better friend to share and discuss about my love life other than my own parents.