A Long Lost Best Friend

Lately I’ve been talking to mom about love, quite a lot. By love, we mean several things; guys, marriage, husband critera, household roles, commitment, etc.

It’s a rare topic in our crib. This was actually an untouched door that we both stayed away from for quite a long time. An awkward issue to discuss. We were always in an uncomfortable situation each time my mom started this topic. And she, she never dug deeper anyway. But since 2015 when we were 11,757 km apart (Jakarta – Leeds), it became less awkward because we discussed this through text. Thank God it continues.

She asked me to tell her about guys around me, about my timeline, about current situation. Then, when it came to her turn to talk, she shared her point of view. Here, I realized that my mom is quite an observer. She knows the details even though I have not tell her yet and most of the time she sees what I did not see. She also shared her experiences dealing with men, lectured about type of men, what to look for in them, and how important it is to guard our own honor. I particularly enjoy when she tells me about how my dad put efforts towards mom back then. Amidst laughter of listening about my dad’s craziness, I notice that those kind of efforts are the ones that I’d love to see in some guys nowadays. It’s just funny and comforting at the same time to know what was my dad like before he’s him now. The man I adore, the man I can rely on, the man I trust.

Mom told me, “Always choose a guy who madly deeply in love with you. Like he would chase you wherever you are heading to. Because us, women, we are easy to fall in love. But men, it just takes a little thing to distract them. So if you start with a guy who is not fully into you, then be prepared for the worst twist.”

She repeated several times that she and Dad do not fancy the complicated pre requirements like other parents might do. What important are; make sure he’s a good moslem by daily practice, responsible towards me in term of moral and material, and he loves me sincerely (vice versa of course).

Now I know and realize that there is no better friend to share and discuss about my love life other than my own parents.




Dipaksa Gelisah


Aku ngga iri sama yang kondangan ada gandengan

Aku ngga iri sama yang liburan berdua ke mana-mana

Aku ngga iri sama yang rajin anniversary bahkan sebulan sekali

Aku ngga iri sama yang sabtu minggu nonton-nonton lucu

Engga tuh.

Tapi aku iri sama yang umroh berdua 5 waktu di al-harom

Aku iri sama yang USG 4D  abis pulang kantor

Aku iri sama dua keluarga besar kumpul jadi satu

Aku iri sama mereka yang apapun kegiatannya, selalu pulang ke rumah yang sama

Tapi aku tau kok

Semua ada waktunya kan?

Semua ada momennya kan?

Cuma mau minta tolong sih Rabb

Kalau waktu & momen itu ternyata masih agak nanti, bekali aku ekstra sabar sedikit lagi

Buat aku mengerti sehingga ga jadi iri sama hal-hal yang bukan inti, apalagi ngusahain yang ga Kau ridhoin.


Emang kenapa kalo perempuan logis?

Ga sedikit temen-temen gue yang bilang:

“lo terlalu logis jadi perempuan”

“jangan terlalu mandiri lah, nanti cowo bingung mau bantu dari sebelah mana’

“mungkin lo kebanyakan testosteron

“sekali-kali ngalah aja sih, jangan kompetitif-kompetitif amat”

manja sekali-kali nggapapa kok”


Yahhhh gitu dehh :/ hmmm.. gimana dong?



kenapa orang harus berubah buat orang lain?

kenapa ga bisa orang tetep pada keasliannya dan bertemu orang lainnya yang juga ga dibuat-buat, lalu mereka saling menerima dalam interaksi sehari-harinya? simple kan? 

Ya gataulah, mungkin udah kebanyakan “kosmetik” di dunia ini. Stereotype terlalu dominan di masyarakat. Cewe harusnya ginilah, cowo harusnya gitulah. 

Ya gue paham kalo berubah untuk lebih baik sih fine aja. Lah tapi kalo berubah for the sake of people’s standard?




So if I may reply to those statement:

“lo terlalu logis jadi perempuan”

ya gue dikasih perasaan dikasih logika, ga mau aja logikanya nganggur. lalu, siapa pula yg bilang gue ga perasa?

“jangan terlalu mandiri lah, nanti cowo bingung mau bantu dari sebelah mana”

kalo cowo mau bantu, ya bantu aja regardless perempuan mandiri atau perempuan yeyee. jangan pilih-pilih.

“mungkin lo kebanyakan testosteron

oww like really? terus kenapa gue ga berjakun? kenapa gue ga ber sperma? kenapa suara gue ga ngebass?

“sekali-kali ngalah aja sih, jangan kompetitif-kompetitif amat”

pernah denger fastabiqulkhoirot? di agama gue aja udah diajarin benih kompetitif. toh dalam kebaikan kan?

manja sekali-kali nggapapa kok”

yakatasape gue ga pernah manja? ya pas lo lagi ga liat aja kali? emang gue uelet bulu harus manja uget-uget nempel-nempel?